How to Be a Good Conversationalist

How to Be a Good Conversationalist

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Does any word like ‘good conversationalist’ exist? How does someone become a good conversationalist? 

Yes, the word ‘good conversationalist’ exists, and anyone can be a good conversationalist. It just needs skills! 

We’ve tried to answer questions like, ”how to be a good conversationalist? What qualities should a person have to become a good conversationalist? What changes and improvements can a person do to become a good conversationalist?” in this article. 

So, go through this article; you will surely find your way towards being a good conversationalist!

What does it mean to be a good conversationalist?

The person who can pull off a good conversation with anyone is known as a good conversationalist. In business, social, job, and dating situations alike, being a good conversationalist is essential in today’s date. 

Of course, some people have the gift of gab and can freely converse with anyone about anything. But, unfortunately, others have a hard time making even small talk. 

Why is it necessary to be a good conversationalist?

Before going through “How to be a good conversationalist?”, let’s focus on the importance of being a good conversationalist. Being a good conversationalist is necessary for –

1) Building good relations – Building relations either at college or work is necessary. If you’re able to make good conversation and make friends at college/school, then you will have a person to talk with, discuss things with, study together, or help with assignments. 

Similarly, if you’re able to make friends at the office, you will have a person to discuss things with, and it will become easier to work. 

Simply, good conversation skills are necessary to build relations.

2) To express your views openly- If you’re a good conversationalist, you will express your opinions in front of many people and very clearly. For example, you’re in an office meeting, and if you know how to make a conversation, then you can express your views without hesitation. 

3) Will help build a reputation– If someone hears you speaking with confidence and expressing views very clearly, then they will have a good image in their mind about you. It will help build a reputation wherever you are, either at college, work, or even with your family or friends. 

4) Makes you confident – You will be more confident if you are good at carrying a conversation or expressing your views. People who are good at speaking are seen as impactful and confident rather than people who don’t know how to express thoughts or carry a conversation.

Quick Link: How to keep a conversation going with a stranger

5) Will help at every stage of your life – Good conversation skills help a person at every stage of life, whether it is schooling, job or dating, and life ahead. For example, being a good conversationalist at school will help you make friends, build a reputation at work, and attract people. It will also help you in dating and stuff.

How to be a good conversationalist?

There are several factors or rules that you should keep in mind to become a good conversationalist. In addition, there are different things that you can implement on yourself and improve your conversation skills. 

Here are some points or techniques that can help you become a good conversationalist!

1) Be confident and prepared to carry a conversation – The first step in becoming an excellent conversationalist starts before starting any conversation. It would help if you always stayed confident and never feel down to talk to anyone. If you’re confident, you can carry on a conversation at any place or with anyone. 

You should also be prepared about whom you’re going to talk to. Learn about that person, why that person matters. Think beforehand, what topics should be in conversation and how it will start and end. 

This can help you be prepared and carry the conversation confidently.

Quick Link: What Is Communication Style?

2) Show interest in the person and the conversation – The person or persons you’re carrying a conversation with should not feel like you’re not interested in talking with them. 

You should ask different questions to know about them and show your interest like, ‘How are you?, What do they do? What things do they enjoy doing? What is their life’s motive?”

Such kinds of questions firstly help to understand the person and secondly carry on the conversation. 

3) Converse on Positive Topics- Try to converse on positive topics rather than starting the conversation on negative issues. Like it is better to talk about the future rather than debating on past grievances. Also, positive topics bring positivity in both conversation and relations. 

Yes, you should speak on negative topics also, but only once in a while when your relations are strong with another person. 

Read: List of Positive Character Traits

4) Do not debate or argue – You should carry a conversation, not a debate on any topic. Yes, not every time you can have mutual understanding or agreement on anything, but this does not mean you should put every effort to prove your point. 

The conversation should be a platform to pit opinions, not a battleground to prove each other wrong. However, it is okay to leave things open-ended if a common point cannot be reached.

5) Respect other person’s views, privacy, and choices – Respect other person’s point of view and don’t try to impose your view on them. It will only harm the conversation and relation.

Respect other people’s privacy, don’t try to converse on the private life of another person. Don’t try to make them feel uncomfortable.

It is essential to respect other people’s personal choices rather than judging or criticizing them. Every person has a right to be themselves, just as you have a right to be you.

6) Make them comfortable and confident in the conversation – Good conversationalists can always make another person relax in the conversation. They also try to make other people secure to answer and indulge in conversation. 

Try to slide them with topics they can speak on; this will help build confidence. Or ask them to express their views without any hesitation. Simply, trust is the key to good conversation.

7) Accept differences in each other – Everyone is different, so try to embrace those differences. It’s okay if you disagree with each other. Try to find things you have in common with the person you are speaking to rather than pointing out differences. 

Identify a common link and use it as a platform. You can then utilize that platform to begin further discussions, which will reveal more about you.

8) Admit what you don’t know – A good conversationalist always admits what they don’t know. So they don’t try to carry the conversation even if they don’t know about the topic. 

Instead, ask the other person if they can enlighten you on the topic. This eventually helps in carrying on the conversation and also increasing your knowledge about the subject.

9) Look for Cues – Good conversationalists watch their eyes for body language and changes in mood that give them insight into the other person’s interest level. By doing so, they may be able to improve the conversation at hand.

Individuals would also be able to better understand what the other party is trying to achieve and their underlying motives for the conversation. 

So reading someone’s expressions and body language will eventually help in becoming a good conversationalist.

10) Use the rule of 50-50 sharing – A good conversation involves the participation of both persons or parties equally. Both persons should check whether the conversation is going on the rule of 50-50 sharing. Whether they are giving time to another person to speak or not! 

A good conversation can be 60-40 or 40-60, but it should not go down more than that. Also, a good conversationalist ensures that another person speaks equally, and they should listen with both ears at that time. 

This will help in keeping the conversation going on and healthy.

11) Don’t judge on small mistakes- Occasionally, people will make odd remarks during conversations, for instance, a critical comment here or there, a distasteful remark, or a bad joke. You should judge them for those comments.

Sometimes a person makes some odd remarks during the conversation, but after some time, they think about why they said that. So please don’t make them feel embarrassed for those comments, or do not judge them!

12) Ask open-ended Questions- How to carry on the conversation? Asking open-ended questions is the most effective method. A good conversationalist will always ask open-ended questions. 

Also, if a person is just replying, ‘yes or no,’ then better try to ask open-ended questions, which make the person answer in more than ‘yes or no.’

So these were our 12 tips or factors that you can adopt in yourself or look for when having a conversation. These factors surely will make a person a good conversationalist to an extent.

Read Also: Good conversation topics for texting

Bottom Line

This is our guide on ‘How to be a good conversationalist.’ Try to improve your conversation skills through these guides; you will surely see results within a short time!

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Thank you for reading! 

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